The end of the beginning...

So, like millions of people I started on a weight loss journey 9 months ago.  Like millions of people this was not the first time.  Like every previous attempt, I just knew this time it would be different... 

Once, I heard someone refer to people like me as another "another fat chick with new gym shoes."  You know how it goes.  You are so excited to get started that you go out and get all the necessary equipment.  You get a new workout outfit, new gym shoes, scan all the websites for new weight loss information...  The big day comes.  Today, I am starting.  Forget yesterday and all it's last minute chocolate and cheeseburgers.  You spend a day or two being so proud of how well you are doing,   a month or two resentful of everything you don't get to eat, and before you know it a year has gone by and the workout clothes you bought are now too small, and the gym shoes sit forgotten in the closet.  I know, I've done it more than once.

I actually lost significant weight several years back.  I had found the answer.  High protein/low carb diet.  It was fantastic.  I ate all the bacon, cheese and fats I wanted, I just had to separate, or skip the carbs!  I loved that one.  I'll skip the embarrassing details and sum it up.  Lost 50 lbs., barely exercised, when all of the sudden I could not get past a plateau, no matter what.  Pound by pound the weight crept back on.  In the end I gained 60 lbs. back.  10 lbs. greater than where I began.  The sad part is, I really am smarter than that.  I know there are no magic pills.  We are just so easily persuaded to check our brains at the door when it comes to food.

So that brings us back to last Jan.  I was checking in at my highest weight ever, and yes, that does include all three of my pregnancies.  I was showing some signs of pre-diabetes.  Everything hurt.  I had pain in my feet so bad I limped and avoided walking whenever possible, my hips and back were killing me every morning when I got out of bed, and my knees were starting to scream every time I took the stairs.  Reality suddenly sunk in.  This was no longer an issue of vanity.  I was at a crossroads that could affect my health for the rest of my life.  This was no longer a game nor something that could wait for later.  I needed to change things now or accept a future filled with permanent damage to my body, including diabetes, arthritis, and joint damage.  Now, let me note that I realize there are many people with these issues that live very healthy lives and no choices they have made could have changed things.  I am talking about me and my choices.  I had lived a life filled with choices that put me at this precipice.  It was a hard thing to acknowledge, but it was the truth.  So what was I going to choose? 

Being only 36, it seemed hard to image a life that only became more physically painful.  That left me a lot more years of pain to endure.  Or worse yet, maybe I would not have that many years after all.  So, with much skepticism as to my ability to lose weight well, and no small amount of grieving over the foods I would have to leave behind, I began.  This time I decided I would go with a more conventional mode of thinking.  I was going to count calories and exercise.  I would eat lots of veggies and choose good, real foods.  What the heck, it seemed worth a try, and the "professionals" always were saying that's what really works. None of my other efforts had worked, so I was going to resort to what I always had dreaded.  I set a modest goal of  50 lbs.  I knew this would not get me anywhere close to a healthy weight for me, but I needed something obtainable and maintainable, and figured it had to be better that where I was.

Low and behold, I began to loose weight.  Did I miss pizza and ice cream at first?  You bet!  But I was surprised to find that after the first few weeks of detoxing from all the sugar and bad foods that I craved, I wasn't really hungry.  I was eating 4-5 meals a day.  I had so many veggies stuffed in to my egg whites, that by the time I finished a meal there was no way I could be hungry.  And my smoothies were so satisfying how could I possibly ask for more?  I came to know that brown rice and quinoa were way more filling that pasta.

The gym was a harder adjustment.  I credit God for the will to get there some days.  But that, too, became satisfying after a time.  I can honestly say I miss it now when more than two days go by with out a good work out.  My "new" gym shoes are well used.  Actually, I'm on my second pair.

So that is where I am joining you.  It has been 9 months since this journey began.  I have certainly made some mistakes, but I can also be proud of much of what I have done.  I have lost 91 lbs.  More importantly I am considered a healthy weight by every measure.  I am solidly within the healthy range for my height, and have a body fat percentage that hovers between "healthy" and "fitness" levels.  I never in my wildest dreams imagined that being here was a possibility for me.  I thought that "better than where I was" was the most I could hope for.  But I have actually reached a healthy weight goal. 

So I find myself in unknown territory.  I know how to loose weight.  I've done it several times.  This time it WAS different.  I went all the way.  I did it in a healthy way with improvements to my diet, counting calories, and good exercise, including cardio and muscle building.  But what now?  I have never maintained my weight and lifestyle.  I have never just gone on living like this, day after day...year after year...forever.  I am done "beginning" to lose weight.  That chapter has ended.  So this sets a new chapter of my life. I am excited to get it in writing and see what it holds, maybe look back now and then and examine how I came to this place.  Maybe someone will join me, maybe this is a journey for only God and I.  Either way, here it goes...