All Or Nothing

I am such an all or nothing kind of girl.  It is not enough for me to read a book.  I either need to not read anything at all, or I read a ten book series in two weeks, while my house falls apart around me.  I have always been that way.  When I find a new craft I am obsessed!  I buy everything I can and go at it like crazy until I find the next thing to move on to.

I can't help but compare this tendency to my life right now.  I decided to loose weight, so that is what my life became about for a while.  I had friends concerned about the amount of time I was spending in the gym.  I poured over all of the information I could find on how to eat right, exercise right, etc.  So I am over the obsessive hump, but there are still a few aspects of it that stick with me.  I still track every calorie that goes in to my mouth.  Obsessive, or just wise?  I don't eat a bite of ice cream or tortilla chips.  I don't feel like it would be a good idea, moderation is not a practice I am good at.  Is this a good standard for my life or am I setting myself up for one huge binge someday?  I am at the gym 4-5 times a week.  Can I do that forever?  These are questions I don't know the answer to right now.

I am starting to experiment a little bit.  I have eaten a whole days worth of food prior to entering it in my little calculator.  My numbers came out perfectly, as if I had planned every bite. Maybe I can start to trust myself just a little there.  I went to the gym three times one week.  My world, and my return to my schedule, didn't fall apart.  I do know that 5 workouts is exhausting, and 3 leaves me feeling blah.  Think I'll stick to 4 for now.  About taking a bite of ice cream?   Hmmm...not quite yet.  Still too scary.  I know that one taste of Moose Tracks has never been enough.  Aside from that, I don't miss it or want it, so why go there?

I will continue to pray that God will grow me to be a person who better embraces moderation.  Until then I am sticking solidly to the straight and narrow.  I am also sending up prayers for many women (and man) in my life who are walking the same road.  Thanks for walking it with me.  Stick with what you know is right, not just easy and fast.  I love you all and am proud of you!!

(...I should find a little pounds lost calculator.  I would love to know how much collective weight me and my friends have lost!)